Interesting article in The Stranger a couple of days ago: "United States of Anxiety." Although it contains a few words of strong language and a larger quota of rambling personal anecdotes than I tend to like, some parts made me stop and reflect. Namely:

"We have reached the end of what author Philip Cushman in a 1990 article in American Psychologist called the "post World War II empty self" era. Cushman writes about the change in America from the Victorian era of saving money and restricting impulses (sexual and otherwise) to the consumer self who is "soothed, organized, and made cohesive" by being filled up with food, objects, and celebrities.

[ . . . ]

"In all of this, aren't we losing the intrinsic value of just being an awkward human being who wants to eat a half-decent burger and drink a glass of water? It drives me nuts, especially because we're heading into the straits of value-diminishing times. If my whole function is to acquire and consume, and my means to consume and my ability to consume are diminished, then who am I?"

This concept -- of the empty self that needs to be filled from the outside -- explains so much about modern-day America, as I examine it; but it feels fundamentally foreign to me. I have to admit that I was raised with the more Victorian model of self, that of keeping myself in a constant state of denial.


* * * * *
I think everyone can agree that from a broader, societal perspective, the recent American culture of consumption can't continue indefinitely. Eventually, people are going to quit buying stuff they don't need and start finding their authentic selves, which (it turns out) don't depend for their worth on cute clothes or SUVs.

I would hope for a shift away from the "empty self" / consumerism mentality, but not back to the Victorian model of endless self-denial and repression, because that fosters its own problems (and don't ask me how I know this!).

Maybe, as a culture, we will work towards something new -- something similar to a can-do pioneer community in which the members of the network connect with and help out each other.

I would hope for something that embeds people more firmly into their network of family and friends. This is one thing I love about role-playing games like D&D: It fosters a long-term connection with a small group of like-minded people.

And it's one thing I really like about the internet. For all the talk about the internet as a harbinger of endless alienation, it's really just a tool that can be used either one way or the other. Many miniature communities created online -- like the community of people reading these words -- aren't about consuming any particular good, service, or celebrity gossip; they're about connecting with other people. That's something I think we can all approve of. 

This morning I went to Albertson's, by myself, to see if I could get my grocery bill under $100.

I did, but only because I didn't buy any paper products, failed to find the kind of tofu I like, and skimped big-time on the meats. Overall I found the prices pretty comparable to the QFC, but maybe that's because I'm shopping the absolute bottom of the barrel at both stores.


* * * * *
I did find one small section of one aisle that was dedicated to Polish imported groceries! I bought some Morello cherry jam -- no high fructose corn syrup -- some gingerbread / chocolate / orange filled cookies, and a jarred marinated vegetable salad. I could not resist it -- the label said "Salad No. 4."



From the label of the jam:

"Dear Customers: We have a pleasure to introduce a new brand: A-Grosik. It is a result of many years owners' experience who have been for decades producing and supervising export for the oldest and one of the most reknown polish export brands. The brand products are made of high quality selected fruits and vegetables grown in ecologically pure region of Poland. We do hope it will not only meet your full approval but also makes you simply love it."

Have I ever mentioned how much I love not-quite-perfect translations into English? I find them so very endearing.

Andrew took off at 7:35 this morning (!!!) to attend the release party for D&D 4.0 downtown at Neumo's. While I'm bummed to have missed out on breakfast with friends beforehand, and on viewing a 13-foot tall Beholder statue, it just wasn't practical to take both girls downtown for this. Maybe for the release of D&D 5.0 in a few years! :-)

Grocery shopping for the week with the two of them along for the ride was a bit of a challenge. Even though I timed it for after the wren's morning nap and lunchtime, she still started crying partway through and needed to be held. Try steering one of those giant blue 2-kid combination cart / racecar contraptions -- bigger and longer than a regular grocery cart by far -- while holding a 20-lb.+ baby. Go on, try it. I'll wait.

But we survived, and she was fine, and now there is food for the week, and they are both napping. Hooray!

Was frustrated with myself because it seems that no matter how hard I try to keep the grocery and household spending to under $100 a week, I just cannot manage to do it.

As I get older and more curmudgeonly, I find myself less and less sympathetic to other people's problems. Not your problems, gentle reader. For you prove, by being my friend, that your problems are real and deserving of respect and understanding.

No, it's the people whose problems I read about in magazines and newspapers who move me less and less.

Maybe it's because everyone is willing -- even eager -- to share everything about themselves, including the most intimate details of their orgasms or failures to achieve same.

Maybe it's just because I've Been Through Some Crap by this point in my life, and if other people's problems appear not to measure up to mine, I just have no sympathy left for them, even though I only know their situation from a few paragraphs in a newspaper or magazine. (And I bet if my problems were summarized thusly, other people would similarly say "OH TOO BAD, POOR HER.")

But my lack of compassion nowadays -- it's bad. Today I found myself uttering the words, "Boo hoo, so sad, world's tiniest violin," and making objectionable "playing the world's tiniest violin" hand motions. When did I become so callous?

Here are some things that FAILED to move me to sympathy.

Inspired by kimith's amazing ability to feed six people for $500 a month, when I am typically feeding two (and a toddler) for close to the same amount, I took the hypermuffin to the Oak Tree HT Market this morning instead of to our usual QFC.

Overall, the HT Market's prices are much much better than QFC's. I got Fuji apples at 99 cents a pound, for instance; QFC's cheapest apples right now are $1.99 a pound.

Curious about how our other staples stack up, I grabbed the QFC receipt from last week and compared the two. I only compared ingredients that were identical from store to store, because otherwise it's not fair.



Parsley and fresh tomatoes! For reasonable prices! :-)

Throw in the fun of shopping at a grocery store where I can pick up a joss pot, a bunch of gai lan, and browse through an entire aisle devoted to sweet and spicy sauces, and I may have to make the HT Market my new "normal" grocery joint. And for dairy, we'll just swing by the QFC afterwards and call it good.

Get Rich Slowly had a contest in which readers could submit their true "frugal" stories for a chance to win a free book.

At Harmonium on Friday night, I asked if anyone had any for me to submit. aawhitewood did, but I never got around to posting them.

Well, the winners were announced in this post. There were only supposed to be three winners, but they upped the tally to four because these four stories are so good.

There are other "frugal" stories at the end. Some of these are amazing and kind of sad; some are acutely embarrassing. There's the odd story here or there that makes me think, "Hey! That's a good idea!" And a ton of things that I remember from my own childhood and still practice today (what, you mean not everyone washes out and reuses Ziplock bags?) Mostly, though, I'm reminded of older relatives I knew as a child who took cheapness to almost pathological extremes... :-/

This one amused me, though.

"Katie Says:
January 5th, 2008 at 11:29 am
On a trip to visit my elderly aunt, I was surprised to find an entire cupboard full of individually proportioned coffee creamers, sugars, ketchups, stacks of napkins, stirrers, etc. It was all neatly arranged. Upon questioning, she proudly told me that the manager of McDonald’s now gives her and her friend free coffee every morning with the agreement that they will no longer take all of the condiments/coffee accouterments that are for customers."

Got my final paycheck of 2007 today. It's interesting to see all the numbers.

This year it worked out so that my total GROSS income was $ X1,435.02. (I'm not telling you the "X" number because apparently our salaries are supposed to be SUPER SECRET, but I can pretty much guarantee that the "X" is smaller than what you think it is.)

After the various flavors of taxes, the 401(k) plan withholding, the long-term care insurance withholding for both me and polytrypos, and the childcare Flex account withholding (which I have since discontinued but which I paid into for most of the year), my total NET income was exactly $ (X-1)1,812.41.

$10 K in various debits! Wow.

Both girls are in their rooms, and are being quiet -- at the same time, even.

Knowing that I've survived another day and at the end, they are fed, clean, safe, warm, and reasonably happy.

A cup of genmaicha -- a Japanese green tea mixed with toasted brown rice. I love the little white specks of popped rice against the green and brown of the rest of the loose tea, and the finished product is nutty and mellow.

tatterdamelion brought me some of his White Chocolate-Cranberry Cookies. Mmm. I suppose I only need one. OK, two.  ;-)

And, of course, the internet offers me its own simple pleasures.

I am still working my way through the interesting articles gathered in GetRichSlowly's Carnival of Personal Finance post. Wow, what a treasure trove he's assembled here! I have been clicking through and reading an article or journal entry, and usually finding other things to link to from there. Tabbed browsing is definitely my friend.

A link from a link led me to an article from the Dallas Morning News, which pointed me to La Paletera, a new Mexican fresh fruit and smoothie franchise down in Texas, Arizona, and places like that -- none here in Seattle so far. "Fruit in a cup" sounds boring, but apparently it's traditional in Mexico to dust fresh fruit with salt, chile powder, and lime-flavored powder for a "kick." They have other kinds of Mexican street food, too. Obviously this would work best where there's a higher proportion of Hispanics; I doubt it would work all that well in Seattle. Then again...

The thought of Hazelnut Espresso Vodka makes me happy. I wonder if I could make it myself. Six or seven years ago I made coffee-infused vodka to give to friends for Christmas... Mmmmm, coffee-flavored vodka. I bet I could do that again and just add some hazelnut syrup... IDEA!

Here's a blog with a very overtly Christian-woman vibe. If that's not a turn-off to you, check out the adorable tiny sugared Christmas tree decorations she put on cupcakes for her son's preschool class. Summary: Pine sprigs (or rosemary). Strip lower needles off. Spray with Pam. Roll in red sugar crystals or powdered sugar. Stick on top of cupcake. If you like that, then Like Merchant Ships offers more posts of a similar nature.

... back in the real world, my tea is cold and it's 10:17 PM. How did that happen? Curse you and your witching ways, internet vixen! Curse you!

The for-sale house on our street is marked "down" to $445,000. (from 468K, for those of you keeping track at home.)

Wow, and it's "pending." D00d.

I read and enjoy Get Rich Slowly, a blog about smart money management. One theme that's hammered home again and again is controlling expenses -- not just as one step in the path towards financial security, but as THE most important thing we can do to get, and keep, our money under control.

Now, it feels to me as though I already practice a lot of frugal tricks I learned from my parents. And as a couple, we are doing well. First off, we own a house in Seattle, and that's really hard to pull off nowadays. We've improved the house in several ways and paid for those projects in full as they came up. We sock money away -- not as much as we should, but some. We have an emergency fund and it's growing every month. Our debts are all locked in at fixed rates. In the summer, when utility bills are low, we save money to pay for the higher bills that come in the winter. Etc.

Nevertheless, despite a raise every year, my own personal money disappears as fast as I can earn it. And I'm not even maxxing out my 401(k) plan!

It's so frustrating to me -- where does it all go?

Well to be fair, I just got off maternity leave, so my income has been out of whack. After this next paycheck, I will have a clean slate to start from in order to figure out my finances.

But not counting tax-sheltered saving for childcare expenses, or digging-myself-out-of-the-hole spending, a quick review of my expenses reveals that I spend more money than I feel like I'm spending. I often feel deprived, even as I am spending each paycheck down to the bone!

I want to reverse this. I want to feel a sense of plenty, while still saving more money than I currently do -- i.e., nothing.

That's why I think I'm going to follow the advice of this guest blogger on Get Rich Slowly. It is an account of how you can play mind games with yourself to get yourself to save. Your initial paycheck goes into one account, and then you use that to "pay yourself" into another account -- and that's the one you use for your own spending money. When you get a raise in real life, the parent account fattens. And then once a year, you sit down and "give yourself a raise," so you don't feel deprived -- but the "raise" in your spending money is always smaller than the raises you get in real life.

I used to think playing mind games with yourself was semi-insulting, as though you were treating yourself like a child. Obviously, we should all be completely logical and rational about everything at all times. Right?

But recently I've come to see that emotions are extremely powerful and uncontrollable, and at the same time they cannot be ignored. We have to figure out tricks to make our emotions work for us instead of against us. And if that means a mind game here or there in order to trick one's emotional mind into compliance, then so be it.

Was looking through my papers to see when I last checked my credit at Annual Credit Report.com. Turns out it was in December, 2005 -- wow, that's awhile ago! Definitely past time to take a look and make sure no one has done anything shady like flip my inactive Macy's card into a Citibank card, for instance. Not that that would ever happen.

And what did I find in my credit file but my jottings of Alton Brown's recipe for vegetable curry!

Financial responsibility tastes as good as flavorful Indian-inspired delicacies. Both are comforting on a chilly, lonely fall night. Mmm - mmm good!

Alton Brown's Vegetable Curry
(as transcribed by Catherine a couple years ago while watching an episode of "Good Eats".)

So, I have no money, not having earned any in quite some time. But I knows me a deal when I sees me a deal, and so today I snapped up this KitchenAid K45SS Classic 250-Watt 4-1/2-Quart Stand Mixer from Amazon for $99 plus free shipping. I had to pay $9 or so of tax because I live in Washington state, but still, $108 for this model of stand mixer is a very good price.

It's not going to ship for a month and a half, but I don't mind. For $108, I can wait until mid-October.

(Amazon changes their deals all the time, so by the time you click through, the deal may be gone. If this kind of thing intrigues you and you wish to learn about deals right away, check out http://wantnot.net... it's how I found this item in the first place.)

Also today I went to Eddie Bauer to acquire new pants, since all my old dressy pants are waaaaay too big. What a nice problem to have. And bought a pair of pants that fits me right off the rack, no alteration necessary! This is huge! Usually I need to at least have new pants hemmed, because I'm short and stuff. And since it's their "Semi-Annual Perfect Pants Event," they were 20% off.

I'm never going to approach my mother-in-law's prowess at finding amazing deals, but I can at least try not to throw money down the toilet. ;-)

When I was in grad school at the UW in 1999 or 2000 or 2001 sometime, I opened an account with the Washington State Employees Credit Union. I was eligible because I was a grad student, and figured I might as well take advantage of it and open the account while I could. But mostly I opened it because they were offering a free 10-pack of ramen noodles with every new account.

I clearly remember leaving the old WSECU on University Avenue with my 10 packages of ramen noodles and running to catch a bus. Of course, I dropped the ramen and had to dive down and pick up the scattered packages. I made the bus, though, sweaty yet triumphant...

In the 6 or 8 years since, that piddling amount of money sat there completely untouched.

A week or two ago I got a letter saying that since the account had been inactive, it would be subject to forfeit unless I did something with it or cashed it out. I decided to cash it out.

Just got a check for $7.09 -- the original small amount of money plus the tiny, penny-small chunks of interest that had accrued.

That seven dollars and nine cents has stayed almost exactly the same in the years since I opened the account. It serves as a kind of time capsule -- my life is almost completely different now, while that amount of money has stayed pretty much static all this time.



Overall, my life now is So Much Better.

www.SeattleBubble.com -- a site with facts, statistics, articles, commentary, and forums on the Seattle housing market.

Last night, Andrew and I took the wren and went out to dinner for my birthday at Anthony's Home Port (the Shilshole Bay location).

Neither one of us had ever been there before; it was recommended by autumnbottom. Not terribly coincidentally, she and scifisy came over to babysit the hypermuffin while we were out carousing. (Thanks again!)

The location, right on the water, is stunning, and the food was really excellent. It's strawberry season right now, and there's a huge bowl of fresh, locally grown strawberries in the lobby area, small and tender, and so ripe they're almost falling apart. Just picking one up stains your fingers a luscious red.

I'm pretty sure that every seat in the whole place has a stunning view. While watching the boats sailing by, the mountains peeking through the clouds, and the sun glittering off the water, I enjoyed:

I bet I am the only person who has ever had dinner at Anthony's while nursing a newborn AND wearing a tiara. (g)

Is the cost of cable TV worth it? Here's a guy who did the math and said No.

http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2007/03/01/the-new-math-cheap-alternatives-to-cable-television/

A photo essay showing families around the world next to their groceries for the week, with dollar amounts spent per week beneath.

http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1626519,00.html

Wow, the last family shown, #15, must be somewhere in Europe (Germany? Austria?) -- and they spend $500 a week on food. That's $500 a week.

Fascinating.

"In 2006, the typical Seattle family of four earned $74,300 -- about $30,000 less than the income needed to afford the typical home sold that year."

(from the Seattle P-I)